“The gut of silence … was louder than sound itself” (P. Djèlí Clark, The Haunting of Tram Car 015)
“When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face, Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance, And think that I may never live to trace Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;”
“Strange black and princely pirates of the skies, Would that your wind-tossed travels I could know! Would that my soul could see, and, seeing, rise To unrestricted life where ebb and flow Of Nature’s pulse would constitute a wider life below!
Could I but live just here in Freedom’s arms, A kingly life without a sovereign’s care!”
I will begin with braces strung across a man’s teeth as a downed kite might string itself across four lanes of a seven-lane highway and bid a barefooted child to wade into evening traffic and slip. I will not focus on the wasp at the window, the cat’s white hair stretching along this orange peel, or even the train’s green breath, its asthmatic clack upon these arthritic tracks that turn every head into a cautious metronome. No, I will not focus upon the spines of the men walking these rails, yelling cerveja, coca-cola, agua, these men who bare no resemblance to ghosts but even as they pass disappear into motes and motes of dust most of us are too busy to notice falling inside a sleeping child’s mouth. I will focus all my attention, now, on the man with braces, asking me if I am a member of the CIA. Have I come to infiltrate the black movement. This man whom I have peeled two oranges for since this train left Rio de Janeiro and, because his hands were full, placed each quartered wedge in his mouth. What are you here for? The children waiting for bottles of water to be thrown from each car. The bee above his head, the kites drifting from the hills, the white puffs of cloth, slew-footed, wading into the sky like a wasp drunk on insecticide. Those are suicide notes, he says, the kites. Soon there will be gunfire, drugs, and dead children head-to-foot along the paves and unpaved roads leading in and out of this favela. Do you have this in America? This, meaning kites. This, meaning children. This, meaning winter rain unable to flow into the gutters because of bodies lining the streets. I think to tell him of Katrina, but I say nothing of water- melon vines growing around the dark in graves from North Carolina to New Jersey, the bomb, MOVE, the symphony hall of atrocities in which every seat is full, but is this the meaning of diaspora? I come with the dead tucked in- to my duffle, my genocides folded into my wallet and you come with yours and we shout across the chasm of this train car comparing whose dead sing louder or more often or now. Is this Africa: a slit trench and a split lip, a photograph of a police chief smoking a cigar as the ear of a dead child catches his ash. Why isn’t my hand dropping these slices of orange onto your tongue, Diaspora? Why have I come to Brazil, Brother? To infiltrate the black movement.
“To be free after all, is not to be undisciplined. I should say that the discipline of the imagination may in fact be the essential method or technique of both art and science. […] To discipline something, in the proper sense of the word, does not mean to repress it, but to train it–to encourage it to grow, and act, and be fruitful, whether it is a peach tree or a human mind. “